


Paper Bullets of the Brain (An Off-Off Broadway Remix)

by Lilian_Cho



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Artist!Steve, Brown-eyed Tony so MCU Tony, Everyone lives at the Stark Tower AU, First Kiss, Friendship/Love, Gen, Happy Steve Project, Happy Tony Project, Humor, Kissing, Light-Hearted, M/M, Much Ado About Nothing, Not-as-bitter Steve Rogers, One Shot, Remix, Reverse Chronology, Romance, Shakespeare Quotations, Thespian!Steve, Wordcount: Over 1.000, mark 42
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-22 00:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6064645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilian_Cho/pseuds/Lilian_Cho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re doing Shakespeare in the Park?” Tony sounded gleeful. “And you’re playing Signor Bene<i>dick</i>?”</p><p>Steve ignored Tony’s cheap innuendo with the ease of long practice. “There’s no outdoor theater right now, Tony; it’s December. They’re a small community theater that does educational outreach to inner city kids.” <i>Sam told me to get a hobby</i>, he didn’t say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paper Bullets of the Brain (An Off-Off Broadway Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Much Ado About Paper](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4510266) by [Woad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woad/pseuds/Woad). 
  * In response to a prompt by [Woad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woad/pseuds/Woad) in the [Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness_2016](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness_2016) collection. 



> Woad, I hope this remix entertains =)

_I would not deny you, but by this good day, I yield upon great persuasion_

Steve couldn’t help a joyful laugh as he took a bow with his fellow cast members. The stage was made from milk crates and the set was cannibalized from several different high school productions, and Steve wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sam and Clint were on their feet, hooting and clapping. He couldn’t see Natasha among the audience, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t there. Bruce looked like any other completely nondescript commuter. Tony, on the other hand, was conspicuous with his incongruous pair of expensive sunglasses and too-large grey sweatshirt. 

“Hey, Bard of Brooklyn!” Steve grinned at the nickname. “Catch!” 

He reflexively caught the flower flying toward his chest. Thank goodness he had talked Tony down from that monstrous red, white and blue bouquet. 

He brought the single red rose to his face and inhaled. A small conical shape was taped to the stem. He unrolled the heavy paper and read his boyfriend’s looping handwriting:

_Steve—_

_I loved nothing as well as you._

_Yours, T.S._

~~~

_Love me? Why, it must be requited._

Steve took his written lines back from Tony. He couldn’t bear to look at him right now. “Don’t worry,” he said stiffly. “I don’t expect you to—” 

“No.”

Trust Tony Stark to make things even more difficult.

“Tony…”

“No, Steve, this is unacceptable. I didn’t realize how you feel—how did I not realize how you feel?—and I told Pepper she was _delusional_ and—” he stopped mid-rant.

“Steve?” 

He felt a hand warm on his shoulder. Tony had taken off his right gauntlet. Steve reluctantly lifted his head to look at Tony.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize how you feel.” Tony's eyes were bright with determination.

Not _I’m sorry I don’t feel the same way_. Steve could hear his own heartbeat loud in his ears. 

Tony lifted his hand from Steve’s shoulder to his jawline. His left hand—still gauntleted—rose up and gently cupped his face. 

“If I had known, I would’ve done this sooner.” Tony’s gaze darkened and dropped to his lips.

Steve didn’t wait for Tony to finish his next move. With a bitten-off sound, he grabbed him by the nape and slotted their mouths together.

A man with so many sarcastic quips ready at his lips should not have kisses as sweet as this. For a fleeting moment, Steve felt self-conscious about his over eagerness, but then Tony licked into his open mouth and he was lucky he didn’t forget how to breathe.

~~~

_I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?_

“You’re doing Shakespeare in the Park?” Tony sounded gleeful. “And you’re playing Signor Bene _dick_?”

Steve ignored Tony’s cheap innuendo with the ease of long practice. “There’s no outdoor theater right now, Tony; it’s December. They’re a small community theater that does educational outreach to inner city kids.” _Sam told me to get a hobby_ , he didn’t say.

“And what’s wrong with Benedick? He’s my favorite character.” Steve was just glad he wasn’t wearing the poet’s shirt he bought to help him slip into character.

Tony raised an eyebrow. “A witty, womanizing bachelor is your favorite character. Okay.”

“An _honorable_ , witty, womanizing bachelor.” Steve pointed out. He studiously kept his eyes on Tony and not on the papers in Tony’s hands. _No, nothing to see here._ “Obviously my number one favorite is Beatrice, but they usually do their genderbent plays in the summer.” 

Tony let out a bark of laughter. “I’m sold, Stephanie. You should invite the team. When’s opening night?” 

“Two weeks from now. And only if you come masqueraded as a normal person.” 

“Why Captain Sassypants, I’m hurt,” Tony theatrically flattened his hand on his arc reactor. “You don’t have faith in my acting abilities?”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Steve said dryly. The teammate that would stick out the most was Thor, but he was currently off-planet.

“ _Fine_ ,” Tony said, repulsors flaring to life. “Prepare to be dazzled by my brilliance.”

Steve, realizing too late what Tony was about to do, made a desperate grab for the papers in Tony’s hands. With a cackle, Tony shot away across the room and hovered in the air.

“ _I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me_ ,” Tony said with admirable elocution and expression. Not that Steve noticed, because he was silently freaking out. “That was your cue, Steve!” 

“No? How about…” Tony turned to the next page. The playful expression froze on his face.

Steve let out a deep sigh. He could see the page perfectly in his mind’s eye. Sometimes, eidetic memory could be a curse.

_I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?_

And under that line, Steve had drawn a sketch of Tony, eyes bright and smiling. He was holding a coffee mug in one hand, and patting DUM-E's frame with the other. Here on the margin was Tony’s hand, stained with motor oil; next to it were Tony’s eyes, lashes shadowing his cheeks; below that the arc reactor, glowing through Tony’s shirt.

Steve might as well had written in big block letters, “When saying this line, imagine confessing your feelings to Tony.”

He heard Tony land softly on the carpet next to him. Tony’s wide eyes snared Steve whole as he stared in mute disbelief. 

Keeping his expression blank, Steve reached for the papers held slack in Tony’s hands.

~~~

_I was born to speak all mirth and no matter_

Steve was practicing the lines that he was having trouble with when he heard Tony exiting the elevator.

“Hey, Capsicle! Check this out!” Tony called out cheerfully as he entered the living room. ‘Room’ was actually a misnomer, considering that the Avengers common area occupied the entire floor. 

Steve calmly and deliberately set the papers he was holding face up on the coffee table. Setting them face down would just scream _‘We’re secret papers that Steve doesn’t want anyone to see!’_ —never a good thing around Tony. 

Tony was positively bouncing on his feet. Now that Steve had a good look at him, the grin on his face looked manic. “When was the last time you sleep?” he asked. 

“Forty hours, fifty hours…who’s counting, right?” Tony said breezily.

“It has been seventy-one hours and forty-eight minutes since you last slept, sir,” JARVIS informed them. The A.I.’s voice held a tinge of concern and disapproval.

Steve frowned. “Tony…”

“Don’t mind my traitorous A.I., Captain Frowny McFrownster,” Tony blithely waved off his concern. “Focus on me, and my brand-spanking new, all-around _awesome_ Autonomous Prehensile Propulsion Suit. And I need to think up a better acronym; APPS, really?” 

Steve opened his mouth, and closed it again. 

Tony struck a pose reminiscent of the hero in his favorite kung fu movies. “JARVIS, gauntlets and repulsor boots. Slow it down.”

Steve heard a whirring noise seconds before something golden and red flew unerringly to Tony’s upturned palm. Tony lifted his legs one at a time, and with a series of clicks, both of them were encased in golden boots. He made a cutting motion with his now gauntleted hands. “Alright, stop the sequence.” 

Tony turned to Steve and beamed. “Once I iron out a few kinks, I can suit up completely anywhere in the world in under a minute. Not counting travel time, of course. And right now the ass piece is a bit temperamental.” 

Steve ignored the last sentence. “That’s amazing, Tony! How are you calling the armor to you? JARVIS?”

“I have a dozen of these state-of-the-art computer chips implanted in my forearms so I can connect with the armor.” 

Steve’s eyes bugged out. 

“To be exact, Captain, there are forty-eight subcutaneous implants that allow the armor to communicate directly with Sir's nervous system,” JARVIS said helpfully.

“You know what, never mind,” Tony said quickly, grabbing the papers in front of Steve and snapping them out. “How was your day?”

~~~

_Not till God make men of some other metal than earth._

Steve gripped the orange flyer in his left hand. He had plenty of practice lying to the U.S. government with a straight face; why was he so nervous about this? 

“Next,” The dark-haired woman said, consulting her clipboard. “Grant Stevens, auditioning for…” 

“Benedick.” His voice rang too loud in the half-empty coffeehouse. He cleared his throat. “I’m auditioning for the role of Benedick.”

The woman peered at him, probably seeing through his flimsy old-man-glasses disguise. “Alright, Mr. Stevens,” she said with a friendly smile, “show us what you’ve got.”

Steve took a deep breath, pictured a pair of laughing brown eyes, and began.

~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Currently unbeta-ed, so please do point out SpaG errors. Thank you!
> 
> I watched David Tennant and Catherine Tate's [Much Ado About Nothing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElbmD6erazw&ebc=ANyPxKrvAP4cYl2bWf5BNCzpbUSjAklkByA-aSOyuy2bdzr_zMO3mD3Cd8LdeI-lK7Yvfq_B1QDcujNpTdaCE6fPymkvv8iLnw) in between writing this. 
> 
> Much Ado is not one of my favs, but Benedick/Beatrice whoo-ee *fans self*  
> Can't decide whether I want Benedick!Steve and Beatrice!Tony or Benedick!Tony and Beatrice!Steve.
> 
> I mean, Benedick!Tony:  
> "But it is certain I am loved of all ladies"  
> "Prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will get again with drinking"
> 
> But Beatrice!Ult!Tony:  
> "I was born to speak all mirth and no matter"  
> "there was a star danced, and under that was I born."
> 
> Then again Benedick!Steve:  
> "Love me? Why, it must be requited."  
> "I do spy some marks of love in her."
> 
> *sighs dreamily*
> 
> /end tl;dr A/N


End file.
